Monday, February 26, 2007

someday


heard this song someday by nina a while back....and between that song and i sum thing developed a sort of love hate relationship...hahah..hate it because it really hits bullseye in what im experiencing now...it makes me feel pathetic...a loser...but oh what a lovely song it is...gives me hope and affirmation....torn as i am i cant bring my self to stop playing the song over and over again...and every time i hear it i just want to scream out loud in frustration...yep...crazy u think ryt...what is it wid me and my love life...that sucks big time?

sucky in a sense that i really like this guy and he doesnt have a clue...yep...no clue at all...been like this since the 1st day we met...been torturing my self over and over this past few months...tryng to forget...as my bestfriend says..damn, make a move...but im scared...rejection is a very bitter pill to swallow...as iris said in the movie the holiday...the greatest casualty of the war raged not in battle fields but in everyday surroundings...weapons of words not of steel...is the people who are as what she called..victims of the cruelest kind of love..the unrequited love...rather than risk it all...i guess...i will just place myself in a corner and just keep on wishing that someday...someday....it would all come true..but ahmmm..hehe..its not really love..more of like an extreme case of like...but heck, who am i kidding...me the timid mouse....who asks the maid to call the delivery guy to order pizza because im too shy to do it....it would never happen not even in a million years...if i would live that long....oh well, i guess i would better find sum1 to distract me from this self destructive thing ive got for you, mr.squeaky...but ssshhhh...you cant know...it will ruin everything...after all this tralala town we both grew up in in is as small as it can be...everybody is updated with almost everything...so sshh...till next time

random rants and raves


1st time to write a blog...sheer boredom made me do it....boredom is what haunts me day in and night...it comes with the territory....being the resident loser and loner...the girl that would always be the bridge..the best friend and never being the leading lady....the fan never the star...argg...i know i must quit the self pity and move on to brighter side of things...haha..but to think of there is no bright side...haha....but hey..its just one of those nights.....listening to this awful but sum what catchy song...hhahaa..about models and fashionistas...kinda like me..ironic isn't it...a fashionista loner/loser....as my best friend would say...we can make things happen...in our own world..haha..kinda autistic ain't it? we are cool, we are sum thing else..haha..but hey..even if we are losers...we are cool losers...and that brings sum ooomph to it..hahhaa....now im listening to this song just for now....just for now the girl says...yea...i wish sum1 would sweep me off my high heeled shod feet...my price charming in a cool shiny car...and take me to happy lala land....forget troubles and loserness...even just for now...temporary madness and happiness...last nyt i saw the holiday...loved it....kinda makes me close my eyes and imagine jude law...he sure kisses good....full of passion...just once...i wish...pray even....i cud see sum1 gazing my way...with a look thats packs a powerful punch of passion..knock me unconscious...well thats just me...more to come...stay tuned...if u want to listen to my rants...and raves...and tear soaked heart pourings..hahaha